Talk:The Kids Aren't Alright (1)/@comment-3575890-20150729163334
So I'm watching Degrassi when suddenly I'm pulled into Crazy Town aka what this show has become Shit, I've a feeling we're not in Kans-I mean Canada anymore. (In my reverie, it takes me a moment to realize that my hair is in pigtails, I'm in a puff-sleeved blue and white bumpkin dress, and..where the hell did this random dog come from?) Seriously, the fuck is this? (Up ahead there's a yellow brick road) Where does it lead, nobody knows? Except I do because Degrassi is so fucking predictable. Lbr here. But for whatever reason, I follow it anyway (Along my journey, I pass beautiful things. Novas flirting, Miles and Maya becoming friends, Triles breaking up, Bonah bonding. It's paradise, tbh. I stop to admire the cute Novas interactions. I am in full on fangirl mode until I hit a dreaded fork in the road. The pathway that I want to go down, where I can distinctively see Novas walking off into the sunset, is blocked off, so I'm forced to head down the opposite one, which looks like it leads into some dark and uninviting territory. I nearly retch from the look of it. It does not look good, but I grind my teeth and press on) Liars and Lepers and (ratchet ass) Pairs Oh my! It's worse than I thought. Drew: If only I had a brain. Tristan: And if only I had a heart. Well, nothing new there. (And then to my horror, I realize that this is as far as it goes and there is nothing up ahead but desolated desert as far as the eye can see. I need to get out of here. But before I turn back as quickly as I came, I can't help myself. I have to try. I splash a canteen of water into Tristan’s face. Unfortunately, nothing happens.) Tristan: Oh My Lady Gaga, what the hell? You're supposed to melt! Degrassi writers: My sweet summer child, evil doesn’t die that easily. Oh. (looking off into the far distance behind me, there's a rainbow) Somewhere over the rainbow....lies the former glory that was once this show. But how do I get over there? (Zoe appears with a pair of red slippers) Zoe (in a saccharine voice and with a sugary smile): Put these on, tap your heels together three times and this ratchet ass mess shall be no more. YOU'RE the Good Witch of the South? Zoe: Bitch, I'm the most loveable female character left on this show. Oh yeah, that's true. (I put on the slippers, tap my heels together three times, and close my eyes.) With all my heart I chant: There's no place like season 14A, there's no place like season 14A, there's no place like season 14A (I open my eyes only to see Zaya eating face and Miles making gross googly eyes at Zoe) Why the hell didn't it work? Zoe: It's just as I feared. They've demoted me. The writers no longer give a fuck about me and only allow me to keep existing so they can torment me and probably later throw me into another stupid triangle. Maybe even pair me with Grace to appease the girl-on-girl fetishists. (I can't help myself. I cry out in anguish) Zoe: You think you have it bad? I have to be one half of this ratchet ass pairing for...god knows how long! I admit, I do sympathize, but I'm not sticking around for it. (As though my prayers have been heard, a spider monkey bearing a bizarre resemblance to Eli Goldsworthy bursts into the scene, lifts me up and hoists me into the air carrying me away) So this is what happened to the REAL Eli Goldsworthy. He's been here all this time! And now he's here to save me. (In the distance I can make out other spider monkeys resembling characters that were blackholed on the show flying around aimlessly with no purpose or direction) It all makes sense now. (He carries me far, far away. Where? Who gives a fuck? Anywhere is better than here) I never go back there again. TLDR: I quit Degrassi